Today I wait...
I wait for my husband to get home from work: Although this job has been a major blessing to our family, it is about killing me! I keep asking myself if it is a bad thing for me to be so dependent on my husband. I honestly do not know how to keep my day going when he is gone... it really is rather pathetic, but at least he knows I love him! I am a very quiet and shy person or as some people would call it an introvert. I do not like big crouds, or complicated situations. I am very fine with sitting in my house and reading a great book. Or snuggling up to my husband... this means that when James is gone at work for 24 hours or sometimes three days then I have to go places and do things on my own... without him! And I am not liking that one bit!
I wait for a baby: Is it a bad thing that I am baby hungry at 18... and that I have been since I was probably 5?! Ha the funny thing is I really am not kidding. It is rather an odd thing. I have had it planned since I was little that I would get married young and have kids young, and sure enough here I am married young, but still no babies. I know call me a baby or whatever you want to call me, but I am so ready to have a baby it is not even funny! James and I have been trying to concieve for a year now and it is starting to get really hard for me to not be discouraged. Everyone tells me I need to be patient that I am only 18 and I have the rest of my life ahead of me. (I think that everyone says this when something is not going my way) And I do understand there point but I the same time I feel like I am so ready. I have learned that I really am just not a patient person.... I always thought I was, but turns out guess what I am not. I swear that everyone around me is having babies and here I am left in the dust. The only thing that brings me reassurance is that I know the lord has a way of making things happen at the right time. I sometime do not understand, but I always look back years later and think OH NOW I GET IT!! Story of my life :D I also am so happy that regardless if we need to adopt or we finally do concieve that either way that baby is mine. And was always meant to be mine. I am so thankfully for The Temple and the opportunity I have to be with my family forever.
Now that I have done all my complaining I realize that I do not wait for as many things as I feel that I do. I just am so impatient! It is a good thing my hunny is patient because we may be in a world of hurt if it were not for him.
Just a little update though since I have not wrote on here for a long time. James and I moved into a place a couple of months ago... it was nice and really big and we absolutely loved it! Our land lords were so great! It was actually a house just behind theres so we shared the same yard more or less. The lady ended up being my visiting teacher companion and although she does not know it she influenced my life a ton! I do not come by very many friends anymore so when I finally get enough courage to make one they always seem to influence me greatly. But now we are moved out of that house and living with my in laws. We decided it was in our best interest to take this summer and SAVE SAVE SAVE money. So here we are. My brave mother and father in law were brave enough to let us move in as well as my brother in law and his wife! So it is a full house, but it sure is great to be with family. James also got a job in swan valley and it pays oh so good! We got a pay check and he only worked three days, and I kid you not it was more money than we have made in 5 months. All I can say is what a blessing to us. James is such a dedicated husband and never fails at blowing me away. Not many men can do the kind of work he does with so much passion. And although at times I get frustrated I am always so greatful I have a husband like him! I have taken up crocheting and am loving it! This also means that I am now selling my items. I am doing the farmers market this year... which brings me to another exciting thing! I am doing it with my dad, we have not been close for years and lately we have gotten really close. I love him so much and feel super bumbed that I ever had to miss out on such a neat man! But I am going to make up for lost time and make this relationship that I know have with him great!
